Warming Center...

 Beloveds.

How are you? Really.

Check in with You.

I'm still on a social media break (going on three weeks... but also, what is time rn?), 

But 

I wanted to share this note I just wrote to myself after an unexpectedly emotionally laborious errand to and from an otherwise routine annual appointment:

Tamp

12 degrees in '21. 12? Fine...

Time, bitterly still and blindingly quick.

Passing boarded-up windows plastered with slogans

    Protest

    Solidarity

    For Sale/For Rent/Space Available

On one storefront:

    #JusticeFor

And a list of names...

The window too small

for all the names...

Your phone pings your arrival before you even reach the door.

That New App Magic. Okay...

Waiting.

And movement.

And more waiting.

You are grateful to have access to this care.

You wait.

Questions you expect.

You don't expect

"What breaks your heart?"

is "easier" to answer than

"What brings you joy right now?"

You don't expect

The feeling your response to 

[What's a typical day like?]

Is inadequate,

Because what is typical right now?

You scoff at yourself... 

And all of the sudden (though not really)

Your heart is in your throat,

And you're glad you're wearing a mask,

and your giant glasses

to hide the twisting of your lips, your cheeks,

maybe even the tears welling up in your eyes.

Maybe you can blink them back before they spill out...

But you can't and they do... 

Beloved, 

I understand we don't want to cry

in the cold

in this office

in public

into our mask,

AND

Beloved,

It's okay

to feel the deep ache,

building up in our gut

until we can't say another word

until we let loose the sob.

I understand, we like to give our catharsis parameters.

But maybe

It just needs space. Like us, Beloved We.

And, here's the best part, there's plenty of space available.

Also, If you need info on warming centers in Illinois, call 3-1-1 and they'll give the most up-to-date info.

Take care, Beloveds.

Have you ever tried to send a text while your "purples" are dilated?

Stay prayed up. The Lord is at work making all things new.

Creating and COVID 19: How's Your Spring 2020?

So...

I've been released from production contracts (for reasons of protecting ours and our Neighbors' safety, with I 100% support) from Friday, March 13th (that's right, Friday the 13th) until September.

I know my situation is not unique as millions of people around the country and even more around the world commit to social distancing and shelter-in-place orders are set in place to try to manage the spread of the Coronavirus.

I have a lot of time... to figure out how to spend that time...

Some days are easy--"I'm working from home like I usually would outside of rehearsals..."

Some days are... not--"This is all so BIG..."

So, I'm practicing checking in with myself (as well as others).

How am I today?
How am I right now?
How are you?

I am grateful,

And

It is hard to process the gravitas of this global crisis.

And

That's okay.

I hope that you are healthy and have what you need.

If you're an essential worker, THANK YOU.

If you've lost/are continuing to lose income, I HOPE RELIEF COMES TO YOU.

If you're structure has been shaken and you feel lost, I AFFIRM YOUR VALUE OF BEING YOU.

And if you're like me, and you need to be reminded of all these things when your mind spirals and gets swallowed by the gravitas, let me remind us

To

BREATHE.

If you can support essential businesses, please do.

If you need help, please ask.

You are loved. We are Neighbors.

Be gentle with yourselves, especially during this time.

Also, stay home stay home stay home whenever you can and Wash. Your. Hands.

Taking a Moment to Breathe...

Hey All Hey!

I hope all is well and/or you are seeking and finding the support, rest, motivation you need.

I'm working with a wonderful team, getting ready to open (THIS WEEKEND!!) the Chicago premier of THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR SHOW at Chicago Children's Theatre (link for show info).

While I have a moment, I'd like to share with you a new poem.

Grief Doesn't Expire

I am grateful,

I am healing,

I am hurting,

I trust in process,

and I acknowledge

the pain of missing your dear hearts

          is a non-perishable item,

even when it exists with joy.

Be kind to yourself as you heal. Some days are easier than others. That's okay.

#youareloved

In Real Life...

Today
I spent the morning
Meeting with
Three
Amazing
Humans,
All in the same room at the same time,
To continue the journey
Of bringing something I wrote to life.

Honored/Grateful/Excited/Terrified
feelingallthefeelings

Team,
Thanks for saying "yes".

Time/Occupation
Do what matters
Or
It won’t matter

Time Traveling Poet

This SciFi lover has been doing some time travel.

I found this poem I wrote in an old 'zine. Enjoy!

May your day be restful and/or productive!

loved, loving and alert #youareloved

Seven and a half Years Later...

She remembers she has a blog.

Wow. Fam. Friends.

So much L.I.F.E. has happened, that instead of trying to give you a summary, I'm just going to jump right into the now, and fill in context as is necessary.

I'm grateful to
A) be alive (praise the Lord),
B) be acting full-time (check out for all the ways you can follow my career), and
C) continue my first foray into independent film/web series making.
(Among'st many other wonderful life-things!)

That's right! This DarkNLovely is combining her skills of poetry, playwrighting, screenwriting, acting, producing, and theatre admin work to create and star in my first web series!

I'm honored and excited about the team that's coming together to bring this original comedy series to life for you. I'll share more details soon, but in the meantime, since it's inspired by a book of poems I wrote, (The Distancia/Imbraccium Poems), here are some nuggets to carry us all through the weekend:

To My Dear Family and Friends
Thank you for sharing your hearts with me
While mine has been breaking
And reshaping itself.
Thank you for picking up the pieces
Too small for me to see
And too big for me to lift alone.
Thank you for being precious.
You are precious to me.

Remember Life
We will
Drown in sorrow
If we forget
To dream
And love

Breathe. Live. Love.