Warming Center...

 Beloveds.

How are you? Really.

Check in with You.

I'm still on a social media break (going on three weeks... but also, what is time rn?), 

But 

I wanted to share this note I just wrote to myself after an unexpectedly emotionally laborious errand to and from an otherwise routine annual appointment:

Tamp

12 degrees in '21. 12? Fine...

Time, bitterly still and blindingly quick.

Passing boarded-up windows plastered with slogans

    Protest

    Solidarity

    For Sale/For Rent/Space Available

On one storefront:

    #JusticeFor

And a list of names...

The window too small

for all the names...

Your phone pings your arrival before you even reach the door.

That New App Magic. Okay...

Waiting.

And movement.

And more waiting.

You are grateful to have access to this care.

You wait.

Questions you expect.

You don't expect

"What breaks your heart?"

is "easier" to answer than

"What brings you joy right now?"

You don't expect

The feeling your response to 

[What's a typical day like?]

Is inadequate,

Because what is typical right now?

You scoff at yourself... 

And all of the sudden (though not really)

Your heart is in your throat,

And you're glad you're wearing a mask,

and your giant glasses

to hide the twisting of your lips, your cheeks,

maybe even the tears welling up in your eyes.

Maybe you can blink them back before they spill out...

But you can't and they do... 

Beloved, 

I understand we don't want to cry

in the cold

in this office

in public

into our mask,

AND

Beloved,

It's okay

to feel the deep ache,

building up in our gut

until we can't say another word

until we let loose the sob.

I understand, we like to give our catharsis parameters.

But maybe

It just needs space. Like us, Beloved We.

And, here's the best part, there's plenty of space available.

Also, If you need info on warming centers in Illinois, call 3-1-1 and they'll give the most up-to-date info.

Take care, Beloveds.

Have you ever tried to send a text while your "purples" are dilated?

Stay prayed up. The Lord is at work making all things new.

Pen Pals

Today I wrote a letter I'd like to share with you.

Shout out to #TheInklings for nurturing the space,
and time, and kindness to pen this.

#youareloved

Dear Past Me,

Hello

It’s been a while. You’ve been away from us. Or we’ve been away from you?

I look at photos and wonder “who are those young people? Do they know they look scared? And full of joy at the same time?”

If I were to give you some advice years ago, I think I would start with this:

There will be times when you have no idea how

There will be times when you can’t see a path

But

The things that must be

The Lord will make a way

There will be bumps along the road.

There will be wrong turns, and sometimes the pavement will crack.

There will be “recalculating.”

Sometimes the trail you traveled before will be overgrown and look unfamiliar.

Sometimes you won’t be able to see the next step through the tears.

Lean in.

Sometimes you will need to pause, and heal.

Sometimes you won’t have a choice but to press forward,

Lifting your foot and praying the ground will come up to meet you.

To keep your legs moving so you don’t trip and fall.

Sometimes you will crawl or be carried, when all you want to do is sit and weep.

To hide and/or sleep.

To you I say:

Sometimes it’s okay.

Sometimes it’s not okay.

Listen deeply to discern which is which.

Sometimes the answer is a shout

Sometimes the answer is in the silence,

The light, the art, the wind, the soil, the song, the soul.

I wish I could tell you all the answers,

But I’m still learning, too.

And though, I know, sometimes We hate this answer,

We’ll have to wait and see.

But,

I’m glad that I’ll be with you, I’ll bring you along

When we get to walk into Eternity.

I’m glad that, even as the minutes, days, weeks, years count on and upward,

You’re always with me, and I am with you, whether you know me, yet, or not.

To you, to me, to us.

Learning to love you and listen to you better,

Present and Future Me

Taking a Moment to Breathe...

Hey All Hey!

I hope all is well and/or you are seeking and finding the support, rest, motivation you need.

I'm working with a wonderful team, getting ready to open (THIS WEEKEND!!) the Chicago premier of THE VERY HUNGRY CATERPILLAR SHOW at Chicago Children's Theatre (link for show info).

While I have a moment, I'd like to share with you a new poem.

Grief Doesn't Expire

I am grateful,

I am healing,

I am hurting,

I trust in process,

and I acknowledge

the pain of missing your dear hearts

          is a non-perishable item,

even when it exists with joy.

Be kind to yourself as you heal. Some days are easier than others. That's okay.

#youareloved

Time Traveling Poet

This SciFi lover has been doing some time travel.

I found this poem I wrote in an old 'zine. Enjoy!

May your day be restful and/or productive!

loved, loving and alert #youareloved